Who knew the sensations and thoughts that were lately almost too familiar for me would apparently be one of the hardest to write about?
For you, my reader, I’d love to paint a picture of it with my words, but my canvas itself is halfway scorched by the blaze of emotions I try to color it with. A small candle lit by the thought of him tips off to everything else nearby. It burns out nearly all the words I could find whenever I try to explain how much I value him, yet it teaches me to create art that is much more mesmerizing out of its ashes.
With or without the stupid hormones that send us both into individual wars against ourselves, the time I spend with him—whether chatting a ten-minute walk apart, or in the rare instances we see each other outside of our similarly daydreaming heads—is like being a few feet below utopia. We are each other’s solace from a world where we, the juvenile, often stumble around. Whether as the best of friends or more than that, we raise each other up as we struggle to build ourselves the way we aspire to be.
One can never possess someone else’s mind and behold all its intricacies. Though we’ve known each other for years, his soul is still a captivating mystery to me as mine is to him. All the same, I let my guard down around him on those days when my life agonizes me and I am most vulnerable. During those times, he always reminds me of how beautiful, strong, and intelligent I am. He is there for me when telling my sorrows to anyone else makes me feel like I am a huge hassle; he proves me otherwise.
There were times when I literally have ended up in tears over his unbounded kindness towards me. Never has a formerly distant stoic like me seen such a level of kindness that breaks down your walls and leads your eyes to the light of openness, optimism and acceptance. Never have I seen so much patience, persistence, and faith rolled into one person. If God created man in His image, then he is someone The Father must be truly proud of creating.
I am already thankful that he is part of my life. However our story unfolds in the next years, I would gladly let be. Whatever happens to us, I will not fuss about. He is simply too much wonder, and I feel I am undeserving, but I have him now anyway.
What do you think? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below! 🙂